1B1 B Gone T-Shirt Party Pics

I've posted a photo album from the pictures Rhonda took at the 1B1 B Gone T shirt Party last Friday evening. Here's the url: http://picasaweb.google.com/scrow595/1B1GoneTShirtParty. Email me if you have any trouble accessing the site. The pictures turned out great. Thanks Rhonda!

Counting Down

This past week marked the midpoint for my chemotherapy and radiation sessions. My white blood cell count is still in the low-normal range so we are good to go for Monday. Instead of one more treatment I am looking at the remainder of sessions as one less treatment. Sort of the is the glass half full or half empty analogy. I remind myself often that my current situation is time limited and that before long I will be back at work and back on my bike riding to the Rooster Cafe in Jones.

Many thanks to everyone who came to the house Friday evening wearing their 1B1 B Gone t-shirts. I think there were about 55 people. Unbelievable! Your show of support and love is far beyond anything I could have ever imagined and beyond anything I deserve. Your positive thoughts and prayers have had a significant impact on my outlook and have greatly influenced my recovery process from the surgery as well as the cancer treatments.

Visit to the Doctor

Today was my first follow up appointment with my oncologist since I left the hospital. All went very well. She said I looked great and that she couldn't have asked for better improvement. I was given permission to drive (when I'm not on any narcotics), lift weights (no more than 10 pounds), and get back on my bike when I felt like it. All this was great news.

I am halfway through with my chemotherapy sessions and after tomorrow, will be halfway through with my radiation treatments. No head hair loss yet, but that may still occur. I hope not, but won't be surprised if it happens. Diarrhea is still an issue but I'm drinking Gatorade to help replenish what I lose.

This photo is of baby Charlie who is visiting us for the week. Charlie's mom, Megan, is a student at Oklahoma State University, hoping to eventually go to medical school at OU.

What a differrence a day makes!

It's Monday afternoon and I am finishing up my last IV bag...a bag of fluid to wash the toxins out of my body. Go figure...didn't they just put those toxins in??? After that I'm headed over to the radiation oncology office for my 4 minutes of radiation treatment. Takes longer to get there than it does for the radiation!

The Vancomycin is working and I am feeling significantly better today than yesterday. It's amazing what a difference drugs and time can make in how one is feeling. At 2:00 yesterday I was having an emotional meltdown in the middle of the bathroom floor and by 6:00 yesterday I was eating a good sized dinner and feeling much improved. At 2:00 a.m. I was in the kitchen eating another meal! Which brings me to my next thought...

This morning, as I was preparing to shower, I turned sideways and looked at my body, naked in the mirror. Horrified by what I saw I quickly jumped in the shower. It was an interesting time for reflection. What I saw this morning in the mirror was NOT me, could NOT be me. My immediate thought was that I looked like a prisoner in a concentration camp...maybe about a month in with little or no food. I did not recognize the woman in the mirror. Then, as the warm water flowed over my body I was reminded of when I was in my late 20's and for a period of time the struggle with eating took over my life. In a sense I developed adult-like anorexia, where controlling my weight became an obsession and was the only thing I felt I had any control over. I weighed daily and nothing anyone said made any difference in how I viewed by body...I thought I was still fat, but here's the thing. The frame of my body hasn't changed since I was 30 but at the time I weighed 20 pounds less than I do today! I weighed 101 pounds and was working to see the scales get down to 99...thinking that somehow 99 was the magic number. The number at which I wouldn't feel fat anymore. Magical thinking. Thank goodness I never reached 99 pounds. Shortly after reaching a size zero I began to use cognitive restructuring to alter my faulty and irrational thinking. So the most important part is that I got over the weight issue and moved on to better health, a better lifestyle. It was hard to see myself in the mirror this morning but I'm glad I did. In the end, it was very therapeutic. It was good for me to remember where I've been and to realize how far I've come. Life is good and life is short so for all the women out there...don't waste your time worrying about those last 10 or so pounds. STOP the madness. It's not worth it. I guarantee it.

This is a photo taken last week in my office when I stopped by for a visit with my staff. Rob and Rita (pictured here), as well as the entire OEDS and Dean's Office staff have been the most amazing, most incredible people I have ever met. Thank you!

Sheila

Round 3

Happy Sunday! Feeling better the last 24 hours but still not feeling too zippy. Better is good however. My white blood cell count was 3.8 on Thursday, down from 10.6 a week ago. The weather outside looks wonderful. I wish I could be out there enjoying it. A group of friends took a bike ride this morning followed by a brunch which sounded like a lot of fun. I was sorry to miss it. Megan A. and baby Charlie are visiting for the week. Megan is a student at OSU and on Spring Break. Charlie is a six month old bundle of joy with a great disposition. Friday night we went over to a friend's house to celebrate a 60th birthday and it was nice to get out of the house. I was able to stay a couple of hours and enjoy the company of friends. Last night had a quiet dinner with friends but called it a night pretty early. I suspect this next week may be more difficult than the first two with the chemotherapy. But I am prepared with my arsenal of anti-nausea medications. I'll keep you posted.

Ensure

Staring at my mid-morning bottle of Ensure I reflected on the fact that four short weeks ago I was wondering how to get 10 pounds lighter...now I'm constantly thinking about how to gain weight! Nothing like a radical hysterectomy and cervical cancer to drop the weight...not really what I had in mind a few weeks back...oh, well. I feel as if I've aged 20 years. All my muscle tone has vanished and I don't think I could ride my bike around the block. I can, however, walk around the block and should probably be doing more of that. I've had problems with my bowels but found out today that is due to an infection I have (too many antibiotics in the hospital) rather than the radiation. I'm now on Vancomycin. The doctor has promised I will feel better soon, which is great news. The toilet and I have become best buds but it is getting a little old. I'm hoping that I will have a little more energy when this bowel problem improves.

In this photo, Brad and I and another rider have parked our bikes outside a convenience store. This was taken on Prince Edward Island during a week long organized bicycle ride. It was a little on the warm side, dusty, and windy. We eventually piled our bikes into the sag wagon and took the van back to the resort!

Personal Motto

Today has been a day for just mild philosophical thought...nothing too deep or abstract. For some time my personal motto has been "Life's too short for Diet Coke." I've tried to drink Diet Coke, really I have, but to no avail. I much prefer the real thing. Life with diarrhea is really unpleasant. I've been given instructions to drink plenty of Gatorade to replenish; otherwise we're good! Deeper thoughts next time.

This photo was taken on the Colorado River...fly fishing another one of my favorite past times. Unfortunately, I didn't catch one fish that day!

Round 2 Begins

This Monday took less time for the chemo treatment...not sure why, but the treatment regimen seemed a little different today. It was still about 6 hours but it passed pretty quickly. I was able to cat nap some and that helped the time pass quickly. My assistant, Rita (who by the way is one of the most marvelous people ever), brought lunch and we spent some time catching up on work related activities. I haven't thought a lot about work (that tunnel vision thing) but I also know that I have an incredibly dedicated staff that does great work, which relieves my mind and allows me to focus on getting well. My stomach is a little upset this evening, but not too bad. Still have some mild diarrhea but I found out today that I can take Imodium so Brad and I will be on the way to the pharmacy soon.

This photo was taken a couple of years ago after a beautiful bicycle ride from Edwards Colorado to Glenwood Springs, Colorado. It's about a 50 mile ride mostly downhill. We've done this ride several times now and it is always a great ride. On this particular trip, my buddy Jerry Vannatta and I raced like maniacs through the Glenwood Springs Canyon at about 20 miles an hour. It was exhilarating but we saw very little of the canyon. Following the ride we dived into hamburgers and lots of beer. Of course this means a couple of people in the group didn't get to ride and had to meet us in Glenwood Springs with a couple of cars. It's a little tough for me to get back on a bike and ride 50 miles (mostly uphill this time) after I've had a few beers and my tummy is full! Great friends, great time! Can't wait to go again.

Sunday Evening

It's Sunday evening...one chemotherapy session down, 5 more to go. All in all, it was a good week. A couple of rough days, but manageable. Most of today was spent on the sofa or on the toilet. Nothing like a bout of diarrhea to keep you close to home and the bathroom! Brad and I are learning to live a slowed down pace. This doesn't interest me permanently of course (!) but for now it is what is required. Actually, it's been good for both of us. We haven't wondered where we are going and what we are doing next. We have tunnel vision...just getting through the next few weeks...that's our focus for now.

This photo was taken south of Cancun a couple of summers ago as the sun was rising. Brad and I have enjoyed many wonderful vacations in the sun and we are looking forward to planning another one soon! I love the ocean, especially when I can plop my butt in the sand and let the warm waters lap around my waist. A margarita in hand makes it even better!

Thank you again for all the emails, calls, cards, and visits this past week. I appreciate each and every one.

Sheila

Better Day

Today was significantly better than yesterday...guess it will be a roller coaster ride the next few weeks. Brad came home and took me for a spin in the "blue baby". It felt great to let the wind blow through my hair and I didn't have to worry about messing it up! Cutting my hair was the best thing I've done so far and it makes a great summer cut, especially with the convertible. Because of the surgery I have been restricted from driving for 6 weeks...so I have about 3 more weeks to go. I can not wait!

For those who care or have an interest (!) my bladder still didn't work this morning so I am now having to self catheterize. Let me just say that this is one skill that I certainly had never intended to learn. Otherwise, I'm doing well. Finish my last treatment for the week tomorrow.

Sheila

A LITTLE TOUGHER DAY

This is my "princess" Sushi Neko...although I just call her Neko. She's been very good company and loves having her mommy home all day to snuggle with in bed or on the sofa.

Today has been a little difficult. I woke up about 5 am with severe stomach pains and diarrhea, which have lasted most of the day; otherwise I slept really well. Taking Zofran for the nausea and Nexium for the heartburn. Spent most of the day in bed sleeping but did take a stroll out to the backyard to enjoy some sunshine for a few minutes. Hoping this will pass in the next day or two so that I can have a few days enjoyment before heading back on Monday for chemo. Just part of the course...

More About My Illness

Several people have asked me to provide a little more detail about my illness...so here is what I know.

Nearly three weeks ago I had a radical hysterectomy performed by Joan Walker, MD. This was done after I had been through ultrasound for Gall bladder, then a CT where an abdominal mass was spotted then an MRI which confirmed the mass and also cervical cancer, and then a PET scan which lit up in the cervix and uterine lymph nodes. My CA 125 was 115. The pathology showed cervical cancer higher up in the cervix, positive uterine lymph nodes, and unfortunately positive abdominal peri-aortic lymph nodes. I have adeno-squamous carcinoma. This represents about 5% of the women diagnosed with cervical cancer. Of course I had to be different and have something that is atpycial.

Fortunately I had a large uterine fibroid which was causing me bowel discomfort and soft adhesions between my liver and diaphragm which had caused me to seek medical care. If not for that, the identification of the cervical cancer might not have occurred.

My most recent CT was clear...good news for now! I have lost about 15 pounds in the last 2 1/2 weeks so am looking a little slim. Certainly wasn't the way I had intended to lose weight! I've been eating like a fiend trying to put some weight back on before I lose my appetite. I am also trying to eat red meat to get my white blood cell count up. If you have any suggestions or thoughts about this let me know.

Today was a good day...radiation this morning (took about 10 minutes), followed by a quick jaunt to Wal-mart. I used one of those disability chairs to get around...works well! Long nap this afternoon and a short walk.

Again, thanks for all your calls and cards. It's been wonderful and I enjoy receiving each of them.

Sheila

First Big Day

Wow! What a long day. Seven hours in the chemo chair and about 30 minutes with the radiation folks. The first hour I was flushed with fluids, then 30 minutes of pre-drugs (anti nausea, zantac, benadryl), followed by 3 hours of Taxol, followed by 45 minutes of Cisplatin, followed by another hour of fluids. The nursing staff was just awesome as were the friends and spouse that spent the day with me. It's been incredible.

The four other women with me today also had cervical cancer at various stages. For two of the women this was their last treatment. The side effects varied as much as the women did. I'm going to hope for the best! The only side effects I've noticed is a flushed face which I think is an effect of the steriods I took last night. Otherwise all is good!

Not much else to report. Please feel free to post a message...I'd love to hear from you.

For today, I'm learning to live...

Sheila

1B1 B Gone Update!

Dear Friends,

Many, many thanks for all the cards, visits, telephone calls, emails, dinners, flowers, and overwhelming love and support I have received the past 3 weeks. It has been totally amazing...reaching far beyond anything that I could have ever comprehended or dreamed possible.

I have never used a blog site before but hey, might as well step into the 21st century and give it a try. A dear friend suggested that I use this site to keep friends and family updated on my progress and as a way to "stay in touch" with my 1B1 B Gone support system.
Tomorrow is the first of several BIG days to come over the next couple of years. At 9 in the morning I begin chemo...takes about 6 hours...followed by radiation. This is good. I'm ready. I feel up to the challenge and plan to meet it head on. No way to go around it. It's there, facing me...taunting me in a sense. It's okay...I'm ready to step into the ring. My tendency is to say, "bring it on baby." "You ain't got nothing on me."

Plan to receive your 1B1 B Gone braclets soon! Be in touch...

Sheila