April 21

Hi all...just a quick update. I've been feeling better the past few days, which is good. I was getting a little discouraged. I have left the house every day to do something, even if just for 30 minutes, and that's been good. Today Brad and I worked in the backyard. I planted 6 flats of flowers. The yard is shaping up nicely. Brad and I both enjoy spending time out there. Friday I got on my bike for the first time since January. It felt good to be riding again although my behind was very sore. I only road 5 miles but that was my goal. I was actually surprised I could do the 5. I'm eating well and trying to gain 7 pounds over the next few weeks. I think it is certainly doable. I also hope to be able to ride 20 miles at a time within the next month. Not really much else going on. I do see my oncologist Monday and we will develop the next plan of action. Thanks again to everyone for the cards and emails. They mean a lot to me. Sheila

Update

Sorry for so long between posts. I finished radiation and chemotherapy treatments then had to go in the hospital. Seems my blood count was low and I was in need of hydration and fluids. I've been home several days now and am feeling better. I cannot wait until I feel "normal" again. I'm looking forward to eating and not wondering how the food will react in my stomach. I am also looking forward to drinking and enjoying a glass of wine...something that I haven't been able to do in several months. I am also ready to start entertaining again...something I have greatly missed.

I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks and so will find out about the next steps in the treatment process. I understand I may have the option for more chemo, but don't know for sure yet that is what I want to do. I will probably choose to have a pet scan then see if anything shows up.

Brad and I are headed to Florida (St. George's Island) in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to walking on the beach and eating seafood.

That's the story for now. I'll report more when I know more.

Round Five

Well, 5 chemo sessions down and 1 to go! I really can not complain...all in all in hasn't been bad. The nausea has been well managed with drugs and the only side effect that's bothered me much has been the diahrea. I did not lose any weight last week and am holding steady. My plan is to return to work half-time the 2nd week of May and hopefully full-time by the 1st of June. My bike is in the basement on the spinner so I plan to get back on (starting today) and spin for 10 minutes each day. A friend has signed me up for a Diabetes ride on June 23rd. Sixty-two miles. Guess I'd better get busy riding! Also, we have a trip planned at the end of April to St. George's island (off Florida). Can't wait to put my toes in some warm sand.





There seems to be so much lately in the news about cancer. I admire Elizabeth Edwards and her decision to not let cancer dictate how she lives her life. She also said she was focusing less on how much time she has left and more on how she's living the time she has. An important lesson for every one of us.

This photo was taken at my Ph.D. graduation party in January...it was an extraordinary night.

1B1 B Gone T-Shirt Party Pics

I've posted a photo album from the pictures Rhonda took at the 1B1 B Gone T shirt Party last Friday evening. Here's the url: http://picasaweb.google.com/scrow595/1B1GoneTShirtParty. Email me if you have any trouble accessing the site. The pictures turned out great. Thanks Rhonda!

Counting Down

This past week marked the midpoint for my chemotherapy and radiation sessions. My white blood cell count is still in the low-normal range so we are good to go for Monday. Instead of one more treatment I am looking at the remainder of sessions as one less treatment. Sort of the is the glass half full or half empty analogy. I remind myself often that my current situation is time limited and that before long I will be back at work and back on my bike riding to the Rooster Cafe in Jones.

Many thanks to everyone who came to the house Friday evening wearing their 1B1 B Gone t-shirts. I think there were about 55 people. Unbelievable! Your show of support and love is far beyond anything I could have ever imagined and beyond anything I deserve. Your positive thoughts and prayers have had a significant impact on my outlook and have greatly influenced my recovery process from the surgery as well as the cancer treatments.

Visit to the Doctor

Today was my first follow up appointment with my oncologist since I left the hospital. All went very well. She said I looked great and that she couldn't have asked for better improvement. I was given permission to drive (when I'm not on any narcotics), lift weights (no more than 10 pounds), and get back on my bike when I felt like it. All this was great news.

I am halfway through with my chemotherapy sessions and after tomorrow, will be halfway through with my radiation treatments. No head hair loss yet, but that may still occur. I hope not, but won't be surprised if it happens. Diarrhea is still an issue but I'm drinking Gatorade to help replenish what I lose.

This photo is of baby Charlie who is visiting us for the week. Charlie's mom, Megan, is a student at Oklahoma State University, hoping to eventually go to medical school at OU.

What a differrence a day makes!

It's Monday afternoon and I am finishing up my last IV bag...a bag of fluid to wash the toxins out of my body. Go figure...didn't they just put those toxins in??? After that I'm headed over to the radiation oncology office for my 4 minutes of radiation treatment. Takes longer to get there than it does for the radiation!

The Vancomycin is working and I am feeling significantly better today than yesterday. It's amazing what a difference drugs and time can make in how one is feeling. At 2:00 yesterday I was having an emotional meltdown in the middle of the bathroom floor and by 6:00 yesterday I was eating a good sized dinner and feeling much improved. At 2:00 a.m. I was in the kitchen eating another meal! Which brings me to my next thought...

This morning, as I was preparing to shower, I turned sideways and looked at my body, naked in the mirror. Horrified by what I saw I quickly jumped in the shower. It was an interesting time for reflection. What I saw this morning in the mirror was NOT me, could NOT be me. My immediate thought was that I looked like a prisoner in a concentration camp...maybe about a month in with little or no food. I did not recognize the woman in the mirror. Then, as the warm water flowed over my body I was reminded of when I was in my late 20's and for a period of time the struggle with eating took over my life. In a sense I developed adult-like anorexia, where controlling my weight became an obsession and was the only thing I felt I had any control over. I weighed daily and nothing anyone said made any difference in how I viewed by body...I thought I was still fat, but here's the thing. The frame of my body hasn't changed since I was 30 but at the time I weighed 20 pounds less than I do today! I weighed 101 pounds and was working to see the scales get down to 99...thinking that somehow 99 was the magic number. The number at which I wouldn't feel fat anymore. Magical thinking. Thank goodness I never reached 99 pounds. Shortly after reaching a size zero I began to use cognitive restructuring to alter my faulty and irrational thinking. So the most important part is that I got over the weight issue and moved on to better health, a better lifestyle. It was hard to see myself in the mirror this morning but I'm glad I did. In the end, it was very therapeutic. It was good for me to remember where I've been and to realize how far I've come. Life is good and life is short so for all the women out there...don't waste your time worrying about those last 10 or so pounds. STOP the madness. It's not worth it. I guarantee it.

This is a photo taken last week in my office when I stopped by for a visit with my staff. Rob and Rita (pictured here), as well as the entire OEDS and Dean's Office staff have been the most amazing, most incredible people I have ever met. Thank you!

Sheila